Co-Creative Mentoring LLC Sheryl Harrell, MAA.B.S., EFT Cert.
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Give Yourself the Recognition You Deserve

11/30/2021

 
Attention is the way you bless yourself with love.
                                                                          Geneen Roth

Warm days, cool nights and a bounty of autumn colors have

made for a spectacular fall in our corner of the universe- one of

the best in years. As we begin the last month of 2021 on a

cooler note,  one of the things I try to do is express gratitude for

what I'm truly grateful for. I can’t help but pause and reflect on a

year unlike any other. As I look back on the past year I give

thanks for all I have experienced, learned, and shared, drawing

in the learning as seeds I will plant and from which I will grow

and take the next steps in my life. I'm also grateful to be inside a

web of community, and you are a part of that!


Gratitude helps us see a world that is much bigger.   When we

feel gratitude, we help each other (and ourselves) grow. In this

season of gratitude and abundance, being aware of our

blessings and what we have, and honoring the feelings that

come with what we don’t, as well as acknowledging that there

are people with circumstances that make it difficult to feel

grateful, has a powerful relationship to health and well-being.


Why are the words, ‘I’m thankful’ more keenly felt this time of

year?


I believe it lies with our intention. Because we pause; because

we're more mindful about expressing our gratitude for people,

circumstances, and things we value in our life. Our state of mind

when we give thanks matters.


By definition gratitude is a feeling. In positive psychology

research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with

greater happiness. The word gratitude is derived from the Latin

word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness

(depending on the context). Gratitude encompasses all of these

meanings.

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives.*
Maybe you have daily gratitude practices. The  gratitude

practices I have include gratitude walks, a gratitude journal, the

ritual of hearing what my partner is grateful for and expressing

what I'm grateful for after every evening meditation. The

gratitude practices in our lives open our awareness to

hopefulness for the future. Gratitude generates hope, and hope

is the window of future possibilities.  As Mary Davis says, "
The

more grateful I am, the more beauty I see."

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Typically, gratitude is expressed for people, circumstances, and

things outside ourselves, along with things that are larger than

ourselves including nature and a higher power.


In the world of business, employees are often shown

appreciation with recognition celebrations, certificates, awards,

and gifts. I recall one year at the college where I worked being

given a gift of my choice (I chose a Leatherman style tool) as

recognition for my years of service. It was fun to receive the gift,

and more importantly, I felt seen for my contribution to the

college, for making a difference in students' lives. That

recognition held a deep meaning for me.


Although saying "thanks" is  important, meaningful recognition

goes beyond the words.   Meaningful recognition involves

genuinely seeing another person.


Studies show that being seen is a basic human need that

begins early in our lives and is necessary for thriving.  Our

survival depends on feeling safe and secure. We feel the safest

when we're given positive feedback and protection by our

caregivers. In early childhood the need for recognition, being

seen, is a healthy response to the human condition we all share.

As we develop emotionally being seen becomes less about

survival and the need for outside approval.


At some point, it becomes an inside job to see ourselves

through the lens of Wholeness.  When we honor it, awaken it,

and actively draw upon it we see the truth of who we are.
It was all going to be an inside job…It was recognizing my truth, the truth of who I am.
                                                                                    Anne Lamont
When we remember our Wholeness, we thrive and grow.  Our

capacity to extend love, kindness and compassion to others

also grows. In effect, we are able to see others once we see

ourselves.


I believe that recognition, being seen,  inspires us and another

to be her best self, to remember her Wholeness, and is an

acknowledgement of her goodness.


A client told me recently that she often expresses gratitude for

nature and for her spouse. But, it never occurred to her to give

herself recognition or gratitude.


When was the last time you gave yourself recognition for all that

you are, all that you do, and all the ways that you're being in the

world matters? Did you know that the self-love work you do

changes the "infrastructure" of your being and rewires your

nervous system? When you give yourself recognition you

discover a powerful inner strength you didn't know you had.


When was the last time you showed up for  yourself?
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Do you know that you're an amazing person? I hope you know

that about yourself! It's vital that we connect with that part of us

that is brilliant, capable, creative, talented, valuable and simply...

enough.


By showing up for yourself every day you bring more love, hope,

trust, and compassion to humanity.  Thank you for continuing to

do the work – even when you encounter obstacles, setbacks,

and self-doubt. Your determination to keep showing up for

yourself is so incredibly inspiring and the reason why I do what I

do!


You might be wondering … well, what about my terrible mood

and grumpiness and feelings of loss and despair, how do I show

up and give meaningful recognition to "those" parts of me?


In the midst of uncertainty and loss, and endless obligations

and worries, and hearing the inner critic, it’s so easy to get

disconnected… from your essential self, your inherent nature,

from Wholeness. Which means it might be difficult to show up

and give yourself the recognition you deserve.


So, how, specifically, do we extend our love, gratitude, and

recognition into places within where we might not typically feel

gratitude, where we might not want to look?


How do we generate and express gratitude and give

ourselves recognition mindfully? The best idea is to start within,

because one thing is sure - many of us  don't spend enough

time giving recognition to who we are or in expressing gratitude

for ourselves.


Often it’s too easy to hold ourselves to standards we would

never impose on someone else. "Our own worst critic" the

saying goes.


We theoretically love ourselves, right? But do we give ourselves

much true recognition? Do we really sit with ourselves in

gratitude?


I believe there is absolutely a part of you that knows how good,

worthy and lovable you are, so it’s time to focus on your light

and let go of self-critical thinking, that voice inside that says

you're not enough.


Meditation teacher Tara Brach, in her new book, Trusting the

Gold
, writes about a teaching she often shares in her talks

called “This Belongs”—that whatever we might be feeling or

experiencing, this too belongs to the sacredness of this

moment. With self-love we can feel the sacredness of all that we

are, no matter what .


You are a gift in this world, and in order to fulfill your purpose

here, it's so important to deeply anchor yourself to self love.



The Co-Creative Mandala below, "Recognition", from a

photograph of a rose (symbolizes friendship and caring)

reminds you to make friends with yourself, to choose you--every

single day! It is SO IMPORTANT to remember: this is a

practice.  You are creating a personal & spiritual PRACTICE of

self-love, of self-recognition.  And that means continuing to

show up – however you can. Imperfectly, awkwardly, you keep

showing up for yourself. These blogs I write are actually

reminders for MYSELF!! I am constantly beginning again and so

can you.  Just keep practicing!!


Picture
Your loving presence touches many more people than you realize. When you show up for yourself, you  show up for the greater whole.
Recognition Exercise:


In this simple, yet powerful exercise, I invite you to celebrate

"Recognition" and feel supported by your inner and outer

resources.  Honor this powerful time of thanks giving.


Intention:


We are moving toward the completion of our pathway to

Oneness. The energy is quieter and more introspective at this

time of year.  You can use the seasonal energy available to you

right now to feel deeply grounded in your life. Feel anchored &

empowered by investing in the vibration of "Recognition".




The purpose of this exercise is to help you practice self-

recognition, gratitude, and self love.




Imagine if you were a child again for today, what would you

most want to hear? What would make your heart light up with

delight?





Give yourself plenty of time without interruptions to dive deeply

into this exercise. Meditate, journal, create and bless your

sacred space.


Make this exercise your own. Invest your time and attention

toward your personal growth and well-being.


Don’t rush.

 
As you sit quietly in your space, light a candle that welcomes

the "Recognition" vibration.


In a moment, when you are done reading through the

instructions, write everything that the Co-Creative

Mandala-"Recognition" makes you think of. Write how you feel

when you look at it. Write about what the associated chakras

represent (root, sacral, solar plexus, throat, and crown) and how

that might be applicable to your journey toward Oneness this

year.


Close your eyes. Bring your awareness to your breath; just be

with your breath. Take a deep breath in. Breathe out.


Take another deep breath in. Breathe out. Notice the sensations

as you exhale—without judgement.  Feel the body breathing.

Bring your body into stillness.


Open your eyes and bring your attention to the "Recognition"

mandala; allow the mandala energy to fill your heart; be with

whatever is there.


Invest a few minutes toward allowing the "Recognition" vibration

to flow to and through your body.  Imagine that energy bursting

through your crown chakra and extending far into the heavens.


Imagine the "Recognition" vibration flowing through you and

down deep into the earth. Imagine it radiating from your heart

and extending out in front of you and behind you. Imagine the

"Recognition" vibration is a radiant ball that encircles you.


Sit with this energy for a few minutes.


Now, turn your attention toward the "Recognition" mandala.

What about the mandala captures your attention?


Notice and Wonder--Something in me is feeling...


I wonder what it wants me to know, to recognize?


Relax into your body and its quietness. Be with the energy, be

present, listen.




Here is the Exercise:


In your journal or notebook write a list of 10 things about 

yourself that you want to  give recognition to, that you're

grateful for. If 10 things seems like too many, start with a smaller

number. Just start!


Notice what you choose to focus on. You might phrase your list

with a focus on the different "parts" of your personality  and why

you're thankful for them. You might focus on your self-care

practices and/or the ways that you extend loving kindness to

yourself and others. (Adapted from an exercise by writer Kelly

Blass)


Here are some examples from my list -- numbers 2, 6, and 9 --

that emphasize gratitude for particular parts of myself that I want

to give recognition to:


2. I'm grateful for the part of myself that is absolutely in love with

my partner. I have a whole slew of internal personality "parts"

who show up in relationship with my partner.  Part of me is

concerned about his health and well-being and part of me sees

all the ways that he takes care of himself.  Part of me wishes

he'd make different decisions about his health and part of me

honors those decisions. Part of me gets silly and playful and

goofs off with him even as part of me is serious and concerned.

Part of me grieves the "future loss" and part of me is in the

present, appreciating every precious moment we have together.

All of these parts contribute to the part of me that loves him

unconditionally.


"Everything is a gift. Grateful living is a celebration of the

universal give-and-take of life, a limitless yes to belonging."

Brother David Steindl-Rast


6. I'm grateful to the part of myself who doesn't need to get it all

right, all the time, who lets go of perfectionism in favor of "good

enough", in favor of "this belongs". This quote, related to writing

but applicable in so many arenas, sums it up:


“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the

people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and

it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think

perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run

carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you

won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that

a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to

do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while

they're doing it.” - Anne Lamott


9. I'm grateful for the part of myself that loves music,  joy,

irreverence, and laughter. Sometimes I remember myself as a

child and it seems I was very playful, often joyful, and

sometimes very serious. I'm a meditator, so sometimes I retreat

into silence and contemplation when life comes on too strong.

But there is also a part of me that loses herself in laughter and

silliness. Here's to that part of me, the one who has her priorities

straight.


"Take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away, but do not

take from me your laughter.  Pablo Neruda


So -- try it! Just write a list of 10 things you see and feel

grateful for in yourself. And most importantly, slow down and

take it in.  Now go! Close your email. Give yourself the

recognition your deserve!


Read your list more than once or twice. Bask in the recognition

of your deep value.


Also, notice how you do it. I noticed that when I read over the

list, the next day, there were still so many parts within that I'm so

not comfortable with - parts that I don't want to see and it was

difficult to authentically extend any gratitude. So I am starting

again! I notice it's worth the discomfort.


Giving yourself recognition and deep listening is an act of self-

love that takes you beyond theoretically loving yourself.

If anyone is worthy of sitting inside the glow of your amazing

being, it's YOU! Self-value, which is worthiness,confidence,

empowerment and feeling safe to be your complete and unique

self allows YOU to choose. Choose YOU! Choose YOU!

Choose YOU!


We're actually choosing at every moment. Let's start choosing

from Wholeness.  Come out from hiding - your heart is worth

sharing.


When we remember our unique value that has always been

there, we're not waiting for the approval of others, we become

clear about who we are--whole and complete, the Light of the

world.


Peace and joy to your seeking heart,


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    Sheryl Harrell, Gardener
    of the Soil and of the
    Soul & Co-Creator of
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