some of us loathe for the same reasons--hearts, flowers,
chocolate, and Hallmark. Wherever you land along that
continuum, this year, why not focus on the most important
relationship you have—the one with yourself? By loving all of
yourself, you'll set in motion a domino effect that positively
affects everything you do. Lack of self-love wreaks havoc in
every area of life - from career, to friendships, to personal goals.
When there's a lack of self- love, life seems like a struggle - as if
you're always getting the short end of the stick.
Every time we resist our true nature, doubt our intuition,
give away our power, question our worth, or contain what
is rising in us, we fall out of flow with life.
When I was in graduate school late in the last century, I was
learning (and more importantly, experiencing) systems theory in
groups, a way to explore behavior patterns and human
experience. Professors and peers often reminded my
classmates and me to "Trust the process and trust yourself in
the process". In 1988, those phrases were years away from
trending. I wondered what trusting the process meant. How
could I do something that I had only a vague notion about?
Over time I discovered that strength lies in the willingness to
slow down, turn inward and build a strong and loving
relationship with myself. And then finding the courage to peel
back all those layers of fear, struggle and limitation that are
blocking living ones highest potential. Love is the opposite of
fear. Trusting ourselves means taking care of ourselves so that
we increase our capacity to love others. By embracing love,
instead of fear, we become an example of the compassion and
strength needed to help make the world a better place, one
action at a time.
Each of us has the ability to influence the world, see the beauty
in life and spread love through our attitudes and actions. When
you assemble the courage to trust yourself and the process, you
access the power to transform the world. Everyone has the
inner resources they need to makes changes in their lives.
Accessing and receiving information from those resources may
be blocked by the beliefs we hold that keep us from loving and
accepting ourselves. These beliefs are buried in the
subconscious mind. When that voice in your mind arises - the
one that tells you that you're dreaming too big, or you don't have
what it takes, or that you're not good enough, or that it won't
work out - love yourself enough to not listen to it. It is up to you
how much power you give it, and how much energy you invest
in its words. It is up to you what you do with these stories once
they start to play.
Your freedom, and ultimately your happiness, lies in your ability
to gently withdraw your attention from this voice, and search
within for another form of wisdom. Emotional Freedom
Techniques (EFT-Tapping) is a wonderful tool for clearing the
old stories and accessing the goodness within.
Questions can also help you gently open to receive inner
guidance and bring up this information, and release past events
or people that no longer serve you. This new clarity opens the
door to making the changes and adjustments that will bring the
joy, wellbeing, peace and abundance that you long for.
Questions have the potential to change anything. Asking
questions is a powerful way to get in touch with the power
within. When you ask a question you tell the Universe that you
are willing to receive infinite possibilities to change a situation,
to gain awareness, or to have more insight.
Here are four questions you can ask yourself...to help you figure
out how to "trust yourself and trust the process"--even if you
don't know what the heck it means. Don’t worry about having
the “right answer” as these questions don’t have “right or wrong
answers”-- just awareness of possibilities from which you can
choose what is true for you. This is a place to play and not to
judge you. The more willing you are to allow whatever shows up
the more benefit you will receive.
1. What am I allowing myself to give birth to? The real
secret to trusting the process is to honoring the natural rhythms.
Easing your judgmental tendencies and embracing the
contractions no matter how much they hurt. As Quaker author
Eileen Flanagan writes in Listen With Your Heart:
By speaking honestly, listening non-defensively and
waiting patiently, we help create the space where love can
2. How can I balance control with surrender? The reason it’s
so hard to trust the process is because it’s a form of
surrendering; and for many people, that’s a terrifying
preposition. Human beings have an inherent need to preserve
their sense of control. And any time they feel it being taken
away from them, they freak out.
I’m reminded of the Arabian proverb, “Trust God, but tie up your
camel.” That’s the real secret: To balance letting go with
3. Whose permission am I waiting for? Don’t be stopped by
not knowing how. How is the barrier to trusting the process.
Learn to be a learner...if you always waited until you knew what
you were doing, you’d never do anything.
You don’t have to get good to get going; but you do need to get
going to get good.
4. What would it take to create more ease and joy in my life
than I could ever possibly imagine? When you infuse your
process with deep purpose, it’s noticeably easier to trust it.
That’s why rituals are so critical. They carve a pathway. They
create a sacred container around what you’re about to engage
Trusting the process is a spiritual discipline, an investment in
the stability of the Universe.
Below is a Co-Creative Mandala--"Trust". Before you answer
the questions, I invite you to take a moment and sit with this Co-
Creative Mandala. Allow Trust to emerge from within your being.
Notice what happens in your body. Notice the thoughts and
feelings that arise. Read the Mandala Message. Let the words
settle in. How true are the words for you? What do you need for
the words to be 100% true? Use this information to access all
parts of yourself…the parts that you have yet to accept and the
parts that you already embrace.
This is the time for renewal, healing, and being still.
Be patient with yourself.
Trust the process and trust your inner and outer resources.
Enjoy the gifts that turning inward brings.