Co-Creative Mentoring LLC Sheryl Harrell, MAA.B.S., EFT Cert.
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Integrating Thanks and Giving: The Source of Abundance

11/30/2020

 
Gratitude is immersing ourselves in the greatness of life. It is the foundation of joy and satisfaction. Julio Olalla
This is the season of gratitude, a beautiful opportunity to

express thankfulness for all the big and little things that are

good in your life at this moment. It’s no coincidence that many

cultures marked this season with rituals and feasts of

thanksgiving! This is the time to express gratitude for our inner

and outer bounty, and begin to plan what you will plant when

spring returns (more on that later at the Winter Solstice). Taking

time to cultivate a gratitude practice, whether by keeping a

gratitude journal, stopping for a moment to give thanks to

nature, or simply moving through your day with a thankful heart,

are all powerful ways to connect with the seasonal energy.  This

season has two tools for enhancing well-being -the twin pillars

of thanks and giving.  Expressing gratitude and engaging in

service to others have a way of shifting our perspective toward

remembering our goodness and the goodness of all beings.


I'm taking this opportunity to share gratitude and appreciation for

you, our Co-Creative community. Even though 2020 has been

difficult for many reasons, I'm aware that I have countless

blessings in my life. You are one of them.  Yes, even if you don’t

read this newsletter or blog regularly, even if you don’t really

know me, even if you are considering unsubscribing… you

matter to me and my universe of energy.  Thank you for

choosing to be a part of the Co-Creative Mandalas community!

Thank you for your readership, interest, and support throughout

the year. It means so much to me!

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When I reflect on this past year, I'm so grateful for you – for

showing up in 2020 and dedicating time, energy, and resources

toward bringing more light, love, compassion, and joy to the

world. Thank you for being on this journey with me, as we seek

out ways to bring more love, compassion, and healing to

ourselves, each other, and our Earth. It is your willingness to be

present that gives me hope.


My experience is that when I show up curious, and hungry for

growth, it has the power to change my life and the lives around

me. In this time of change and uncertainty (there's always been

change and uncertainty--and both are particularly magnified this

year, right?), I will continue to share my humble offerings in the

newsletters and blog. I aim to be a resource you can count on

and find comfort in during the holiday season and beyond. I'm

grateful to be able to learn from you and offer you opportunities

to wake up to new paradigms and perspectives, expand your

consciousness, and grow!


For those of us who have been doing self-development and self-

improvement work for any length of time, we know the

importance of gratitude. Like many of you, I have a daily

gratitude practice. I read somewhere recently that the

foundation of self-love and self-care is gratitude! Practicing daily

gratitude gives us a deeper connection to ourselves, to each

other, the world around us, and to the universe.


As part of my gratitude practice, I honor all my feelings. I think it

is important not to try to force an emotion OR to pretend that I'm

not feeling what I'm feeling. Yes, even THOSE feelings. You

may know the ones I'm talking about...I'm guessing you may be

like me and in addition to feeling grateful, you are also

experiencing a full range of emotions this year.


For instance, as I'm counting my blessings I'm aware that I'm full

of sorrow this year, as I know many of you are. It's the time of

year that marks upcoming anniversaries of some of my deepest

losses, so it’s already difficult. I'm also full of gratitude, as many

of you are, and aware of all the blessings in my life.  Focusing

on just the sorrow or just the gratitude doesn't work for me. I

don’t want to ignore either one. I'm trusting that they can and do

co-exist. 


How do we find our gratitude when things may not be going the

way we want them to? Or envisioned they would be? Or you

experience outside forces not in your control?  Gratitude is great

when it's all going well. But what about when you feel --(fill in

the blank
)-- or you're not where you want to be in your life?

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Full disclosure: I've been struggling a bit for the past few

months, as have many of us. Writing this newsletter and the

blog has been a huge challenge (I had planned to publish this

on Thanksgiving day).  It's not so much the writing as it is my

intention to be authentic, to be real with myself and with our

community: I'm in two minds--gratitude and sorrow. It might be

easy to focus on gratitude without mentioning the sadness. But I

know I'm experiencing both emotions. So, I've been on two

contradictory emotional tracks for a while. I've made the choice

(more than once) to hold space for and “just be” with the

sadness (and the gratitude).


During the past year, my partner's health has been deteriorating

and I'm loosing long-time friends.  I'm choosing to follow the

strictest guidelines for social distancing. So, like many of us, I'm

missing hugs and all the joys in-person contact “warms my

heart” in ways that are indescribable.


I'm also aware how much other people are suffering. Their lives

are challenged in unimaginable ways, much more so than

mine.  I was raised to be mindful of those who are less

fortunate. I think many people were taught those values. We

heard things like “You should be grateful,” or “If you can’t say

anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” or “It could be worse, so

don’t complain.” So, I'm feeling guilt, too. The upside that often

runs alongside these sentiments is compassion, empathy, and a

desire to care for others, to be of service.


I understand it's a choice to “be with” all emotions or not. 

Sometimes a particular emotion might  overwhelm  you, and

then you don’t feel as if you have a choice. But you do… you

could still run from it or pretend it’s not bothering you. There are

all sorts of options besides feeling your emotions. 



I'm choosing to honor the sadness AND also be with the

gratitude and appreciation. At times this may be a hard journey.

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone,  that we are all in this

together.  It can be mind and soul bending, but we're going to

see this through … because "the only way out of this is through

it".


Here are mindset shifts I reach for when the sadness is present

and gratitude feels elusive...(thanks to Sage Lavine for inspiring

me).



1. FEEL WHAT YOU'RE FEELING

In her March 2020 podcast--Comparative Suffering, the 50/50

myth, and Settling the ball
Brene Brown tells us that emotions

are like tunnels, you have to go all the way through - if you get

stuck in the middle, replaying stories and hanging out in

emotional hell... you can end up exhausted and depressed. She

also invites us to give ourselves permission to be with ALL our

feelings. For me that includes sadness. Just being with what

comes up, that’s truly the way to healing and peace. If you can

own where your emotions are in each moment, even if they

argue with your positive, spiritual beliefs, this time will be much

easier to navigate. Feeling your challenging emotions will not

set you back spiritually, but it will create more space within you

for the light.

Sadness is NOT a happiness deficiency.  It is how the heart adjusts to loss, and releases imagined patterns of attachment.  Every time sadness arrives, the body has an emotional garage sale.  It releases what is no longer needed for the journey ahead, and clears the space to welcome in what your entire life has prepared you to find. - true happiness.  Matt Khan
2. EXPRESS THE FEELING(S)

Cry or growl or squirm around if you need to. If it helps to have

someone with you... call a friend and ask if they have 10

minutes to hold space for you to move through your stuff. Give

someone the gift of being there for you. Don't isolate.

Remember, we're all in this together!


3. REMEMBER, BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF

In my experience, I have to turn toward it and give myself full

presence and permission to be extra gentle with myself to feel it

fully. If you have high expectations of yourself, extra love is

going to be needed. Processing grief and sadness is not

selfish.  It's self-care. Love on yourself.



4. SEE IF YOU CAN PERCEIVE THE SPACE ON THE OTHER

SIDE OF THE FEELING


The Universe is made of space. We're wired to  consistently turn

toward the "beliefs" and "heaviness" in our awareness, but the

truth is, there is space all around us - and that space provides

room for us to expand in the face of life's challenges rather than

contract.


When I focus on moving through the feelings and into

spaciousness, I feel RELIEF.
Techniques like Heart Math

and Emotional Freedom Techniques-EFT-Tapping

support shifting difficult emotions, align mind, body, and spirit,

and  allow all emotional content more space to be expressed.

When you RAISE YOUR VIBRATION and get THROUGH the

hard stuff... you are creating more space to love and accept

yourself--and to feel gratitude.

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Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously transform your whole life. .                                                                                Eckhart Tolle
 5. NOW, START WITH GRATITUDE FOR SOMETHING

SIMPLE


Maybe you carve out  5, 10, or 15 minutes today to create

artwork, write a friend an "I'm grateful for you" letter or email (or

tell them), or create a social media post you're proud of. Maybe

you take the entire day off and give that gift to yourself. Maybe

you make yourself your favorite meal even if you're eating it all

alone!


Gratitude is one of the key positive energies of the holiday

season. Even when uncertainty and disruption surround you, a

simple thank you can help bring you back to center.  Gratitude is

not only for the benefit of other people; it’s a critical component

to our own self-acceptance, well-being, and self-care. When we

remember to express it and focus on our countless blessings we

acknowledge the goodness in our lives and in others. In the

process, we may recognize that the source of that goodness is

both inner and outer. As a result, gratitude also helps us

connect to something larger than ourselves as individuals — to

other people, nature, and to Source, the Universe--however you

name the Presence that supports all life.


It follows that expressing gratitude opens our hearts to being of

service: Thanks+Giving: Gratitude+Service are the two tools for

shifting perspective. There are so many ways of being of

service… Maybe you’re talented in your business, you could

mentor students at your local community college or university.

Perhaps you could volunteer for a troubled youth program. For

others, maybe it’s being involved in a choir or something within

their religious community. How about joining a local organic

farm or community garden and doing some work there?

Whatever way you choose to be of service, it’s about

volunteering in a way that honors you.


What does service look like during a time like we're

experiencing now, when we may be feeling isolated or

overwhelmed? Remember, when life feels hard, we tend put our

heads down and go into survival mode. It may feel too

overwhelming to take on extra commitments. That's okay. Honor

your feelings. Take care of yourself, love yourself, and do what

feels life affirming to you. 



Artist and author Lori Roberts shares wonderful prompts and

ideas for targeted giving and effecting positive change through

service in her book Choose Hope, Take Action: A Journal to

Inspire and Empower



If you'd like to be of service, remember small acts go a long way

in helping others feel better, and that includes you, too! Take a

moment each day and ask “How will I serve another today?”



This Co-Creative Mandala, "Thanks-Giving" is from photos of an

abundance of flowers and plants. It is a reminder of the

countless  blessings we have and the many ways we can be of

service.

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order,

confusion to clarity.


                                                                              Melody Beattie
Thanks-Giving Exercise

 
In this simple, yet powerful exercise, I invite you to celebrate

"Thanks-Giving" and feel supported by your inner and outer

resources.  Honor this powerful time of gratitude and service.


Give yourself plenty of time without interruptions to dive deeply

into this exercise. Meditate, journal, create and bless your

sacred space.


Make this exercise your own. Invest your time and attention.


Don’t rush.

 
As you sit quietly in your space, light a candle that welcomes

"Thanks-Giving". What does "Thanks-Giving" mean to you?
 

Close your eyes. Bring your awareness to your breath; just be

with your breath. Take a deep breath in. Breathe out. Take

another deep breath in. Breathe out. Notice the sensations as

you exhale—without judgement.  Feel the body breathing. Bring

your body into stillness.


Open your eyes and bring your attention to the "Thanks-Giving"

mandala; allow the mandala energy to fill your heart; be with

whatever is there.


Invest a few minutes toward allowing the “Thanks-Giving”

energy to flow to and through your body.  Imagine that energy

bursting through your crown chakra and extending far into the

heavens.


Imagine the “Thanks-Giving” energy flowing through you and

down deep into the earth. Imagine it radiating from your heart

and extending out in front of you and behind you. Imagine the

“Thanks-Giving” energy is a radiant ball that encircles you.


Now, sit with this energy for a few minutes.


What about the "Thanks-Giving" mandala captures your

attention?


Notice and Wonder--Something in me is feeling...


I wonder what it wants me to know?

 
Relax into your body and its quietness. Be with the energy, be

present, listen:


Write out the following questions and answers in your journal.


1.What are you grateful for in your life? These are things that

will be renewed, replenished, and enhanced as you move

forward. What is one concrete action you can take to express

gratitude in your life? How will you honor gratitude and hold it in

your heart each and every day?


2. Who are the people you are grateful for in your life? What

would you like to say to these people? How have they

supported your growth? What are ways that you can express

your gratitude to these people?


3. What are actions you can take that are in service to others.

How can you be of service today?



My prayer is that for those whose hearts are hurting there is

comfort and peace and gratitude. For all of those who are sick,

to recover fully, and for all of those in need of resources, that

there is relief right in the nick of time.


Let’s keep praying for each other and appreciating,  loving, and

serving each other. Not just today, but everyday.


Blessings of peace, joy, and abundance,


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    Author

    Sheryl Harrell, Gardener
    of the Soil and of the
    Soul & Co-Creator of
    Mandalas. Happy you
    found my Blog!

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